Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
