I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
