his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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