I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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