I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
