My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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