Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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