i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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