Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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