everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
