Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
