Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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