What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
