At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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