Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
