blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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