Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
