My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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