clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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