carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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