I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
