I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
