Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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