the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
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I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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