bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
