pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
