Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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