I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
