I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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