I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
