OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
