A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
