that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize