We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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