He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
