I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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