Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
