Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
