So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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