I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
