Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
