I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
