Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
