I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
