I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
