my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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