After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
