Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
