It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
