Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
