i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
