i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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