That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
