You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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