Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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