Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
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No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
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Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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