We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
