Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
