im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
