I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
