i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
