He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
