YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize