Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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