Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
