Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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