32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
high people should be assigned attendants
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
