I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We left the knife in your bed.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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