Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
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We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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